Constant craving

Yay finally the exams for this semester are over! cell biology wasn't too good, crap listening to my friends discuss the paper and i'm like thinking oh shit, my answers are different- and it's like the essay part, so i guess i spent my time writing rubbish. oh well, just praying that i won't have to take this next semester again! though i felt like i did better than like biochemistry and chemistry of life sciences where i got like D pluses, so we'll see. okay- blogged about it, so now out of mind.

things to do during the break:

-finish my blog posts on the top 5 challenge which i missed cause of the exams
-get a job
-meet up with the friends :)
-finish planning the 21st party
-make reservations at the restaurant
-make and send out the invites
-settle modules for next semester
-send out Christmas cards to everyone who hosted me in Germany / Switzerland this summer
-have some fun!

i cannot believe i am turning 21 in less than 2 months. it is unreal! i don't know if i should feel excited or slightly demoralised at what i have accomplished in more than 2 decades of existence. sigh. sometimes i look at young kids who are happy and think- oh boy, you do not know what you are in for when you grow older.

okay i'll put it in anyway:

HAHAHAHA I LOVE SHAWN
HES SO AWESOMEEEEE


hahahaha.

Constant craving
-Glee

For Good

Day Thirty: Top Five Favorite Song Lyrics


ahhh i don't know how i can choose only five.

okay i have gone and looked at my playlist, and here goes:

1) Time of our lives (by Miley Cyrus)

seriously, i still love this song.

"Holdin' back
What are we waitin' for?
Take the chance
Now's all we've got for sure

Lets have the time of our lives
Like there no one else around
Just throw your hands up high
Even when they try to take us down

We'll have the time of our lives
Till the lights burn out Lets laugh until we cry
Life is only what you make it now
Lets have the time of our lives!"

2) Turning Tables (by Adele)

"So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Turning tables

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet"

3) Don't Stop Believin' (by Journey)

i love this song. the version sung by glee is soooooooooo much better then the original.

"Just a small town girl
Living in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train going anywhere

A singer in a smoky room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers, waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Paying anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Don't stop believing
Hold on to that feeling
Streetlight people"

and of course the whole song HAD to be posted.

4) Good Life (by OneRepublic)

"Sometimes there's airplanes I can' t jump out
Sometimes there's bullshit that don't work now
We are god of stories but please tell me-e-e-e
What there is to complain about

When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in

Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

Hopelessly I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cuz hopelessly The hope is we have so much to feel good about"

5) For Good (by Wicked)

Glee's version of this is lovely! sung by rachel and kurt at new york :):):)

"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Who can say if I've been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you...
I have been changed for good."
______________________________________________

okay i have to stop cause i can actually go on and on. i have realised that if someone just reads these lyrics it would seem silly, so go listen to the songs! (i had so many other songs i wanted to put but the lyrics alone looked silly without the music!) haha, does that make sense?

and this is finally the last day of the top 5 challenge!

For Good
-Glee

Cool

Day Twenty-Nine: Top Five Biggest Guilty Pleasures


this is gonna be embarrassing, so read quick and forget about it fast.


1) Tween TV shows

i loved watching Hannah Montana (before it ended), Sonny with a chance (when Demi Lovato was still in it), and now Wizards of Waverly Place (WOWP). but come on, they are really funny disney shows! really. but yes it is rather embarrassing to admit that i watch these shows. but i won't be soon, cause WOWP is concluding! so there won't be any more tween shows i like to watch anymore. good thing? sigh okay moving on.

(and no, tween is not a spelling error, it's the demographic of kids between the ages of 9 and 12.)

2) Dystopian fiction books

this genre is really good! even though most of the books i've read from this genre are from the young adults section, cannot stop. some examples are the Hunger games trilogy by Suzanne Collins, (MOVIE coming out next march!!!), Divergent by Veronica Roth (MOVIE rumored as well), the Maze Runner trilogy by James Dashner and many more. okay one under the adult section would be Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde. seriously give these a shot :) oh and i would say that the movie In Time would be under this genre too.

anyway i am just a little hesitant to tell people i'm liking books in this genre cause it's like dark and basically about repressed and controlled societies, but i find it so interesting, to learn about these societies, and some are actually imaginable in the future i would say, and to see usually the protagonist start to actually question the rules of society and want to challenge it instead of just accepting them as the norm.

when i was reading book after book from this genre, people who asked me what i was reading at the moment would get this long speech about the dystopian genre i am currently enjoying, and i get in return like a polite "oh okayyyy, i've never heard of that before" and a weird look. hahaha so now i keep it to myself and enjoy whatever more i can find cause i am running out of books from this genre already! waiting for authors to finish the sequels, or new ones to dream up a whole new world.

3) Making friendship bracelets

well, i guess it's pretty obvious why i am not shouting this fact out to the world. but i do enjoy making these bracelets, but i only do them during my holidays and breaks. i have quite a large collection and am always finding new cool patterns to make, but i find it so hard to give them away! haha. i currently mostly have only one of each design, and those i have made multiples of have different colours so i am reluctant to give them away, even though they aren't doing much sitting in a box. my mom thinks i should sell them, but i really do not know if people would actually pay for them! so in the box they stay.

4) Windows games

like freecell, minesweeper, solitaire and so on. it's just that when i am watching a show of movie online, i need to have something to do with my hands or something, so i play these windows games on the side. it's kinda silly, but it's just something i do. for example: my freecell statistics are: 10577 games played, and 10562 games won. yes, it is ridiculous.

5) Stalking people online

once i start looking, i do not stop till i am satisfied. one crazy example was, when i was signing up for auditions on an online google docs spreadsheet, i started looking up the other people who were auditioning as well online. facebook, googling, looking for blogs, and so on. that was a little silly. but also like ex classmates, and people i meet- facebook or look online for information. it used to be easier when a lot of people had blogs, now not so much, and people are making their facebook pages more private so i can't get much information, which can be frustrating. which is why i leave my social networking sites more or less open, cause i know how other stalkers feel. hahaha

Cool
-Glee

I Can't Go for That / You Make My Dreams

Day Twenty-Eight: Top Five Favorite TV Shows


These are my top 5 at the moment, not including the summer shows that are all on a hiatus now.

1) Grey's Anatomy

oh my gosh oh my gosh where do i begin!?! One of the first shows i started following for real, watching from season 1 till i caught up with season 4 i think, when i got my own computer to start watching shows. i got the whole 1st and 2nd season at the nyjc library and watched it like full screen on my tv! it was awesome! (thanks ny library)

anyway, this show is awesome, the characters are all great, the storylines are great, the medical cases are pretty much awesome, and most are based in fact, the writing is great, ah it's just awesomeness.

i think Christina Yang is my current favourite character for now, her lines are sooooo good!

2) Glee

AH :) my latest new love. i have almost every song they sang on the show and lea michele is awesome!!!! her voice is beautiful, and needless to say, cory monteith- he is currently on my twitter's background. ah, he is fine!

3) Castle

my favourite crime drama- really really good show with great lead characters and pretty interesting cases. and castle (the lead) is so witty. love the writing.

4) Psych

another crime show, but leaning more towards the comedy side than drama. shawn and gus, hilarious together. their lines are so good, GUS IS AWESOME!

5) Nikita

spy show! super hot main characters and it is usually really exciting, especially now that nikita and michael are together!! :)

Top 5 favourite summer shows

ah heck i'll make them their own section.

1) Make it or break it

AH finally a tv show on gymnastics! Teen drama but ah so fun to watch :) Fav summer show!

2) Pretty little liars

Classic super drama teen drama, but i can't help watching it! it's so drama but ah can't wait for the new episodes every week, and the girls are all so pretty, and there is ian harding!!!!! (which now reminds me, i'll put him in my top 5 favourite fictional crushes!!!) link to that post here :)

3) Rizzoli & Isles

I was so happy to find out they turned this book series into a tv show!! YAY! Only the characters are the same though, not the cases, but the characters are good so yay! :) Books are by Tess Gerritsen.

4) Big brother

Ah whenever it's summer, it's big brother time!!! So far the cast has been not too bad the past 3 seasons i have watched the show, and the competitions are hilarious sometimes, and it shows three times a week so plenty to watch and it's always fun! :)

5) Switched at birth

I felt like learning sign language after watching this series, it's new, only 1 season so far, but teen drama all the way during the summer!

Special mentions (Favourite shows that have been cancelled):

1)Veronica Mars

I loved this show! Used to watch it on TV after school back when i was still in secondary school. I was so sad when they cancelled it in 2007 :( :( :( :(

2) Human Target

Really good old school spy show. Season 2 was awesome!! especially when the character of Ilsa Pucci (played by Indira Varma- who is half indian half swiss, with a british accent- cool!!) was introduced. And the black guy was so funny, ah i miss this show!
_________________________________________________

2 papers done as of today! yay 2 more papers left, then it'll be the holidays! :) and i cannot wait for the sectionals and christmas episodes of glee. really. ah!

I Can't Go for That / You Make My Dreams
-Glee

(oh my goodness, current favourite glee song- super duper catchy and fun mash up- i always feel like dancing or boogieing to this song!)

Man in the mirror

Day Twenty-Seven: Top Five Most Annoying Things About Yourself


hah. this post won't be going anywhere good, and i apologise now if i end it badly being pissed at myself and basically anything at moves on earth. hahaha.

in no particular order:

1) I am way too shy

crap i have not outgrown that. it is ridiculous how i don't 'dare' to talk to people i don't know and would rather stick to myself and do my own thing. i get so nervous when i need to introduce myself to a group, or when i need to do a presentation or something and it should be getting better, no?

i believe i am getting better at talking to new people and mingling, but it is probably also cause i am in university and the people here are nice enough to bother to start conversations with you. the past few events i have attended were okay, even the one where i knew no one, the girl sitting next to me also came alone and so she introduced herself and we kinda stuck to each other. hahaha.

2) I don't seem to be good at any one thing!

argh i hate this about myself. i need to discover my talents- something i am good at that i can be proud of. sigh this needs to happen soon before i have some sort of quarter-life crisis about my value to society.

3) I am usually late for stuff

sigh, super bad habit which i totally need to work on.

4) I am way too self conscious

it used to be much worse than it is now, but i still think people are staring at me sometimes, (when they are probably not, or they just happen to glance at me), and i then i worry that it is my clothes or my hair or my face or body and so on. well at least i usually bring a book so i am busy reading rather than thinking about what other people may be thinking about me/my clothes/whatsoever.

my mum says i have an identity problem too, like i want to try so hard to be 'ang moh', but then (and probably because) i look so chinese (or malay, or anything else), i just feel like i don't belong, like i am neither here nor there, and yes no secret i would rather be 'ang moh' but i am not, and even being half, it doesn't even matter, cause i don't look the part, i've stayed in Singapore all my life and am Singaporean so it's nothing special anymore.

i should stop. and i can't really think of a substantial 5th point.

i shall end this better by having an awesome glee song as the title!

Man in the mirror
-glee

Don't Stop

Day Twenty-Six: Top Five Most Useful Inventions


1) Transportation

be it the car, plane, train, ship, bicycle. needing to walk everywhere would suck.

2) Stationery

pens, pencils, paper, highlighters, and so on. how did they do without a 0.38 uniball signo ink pen in the colour blue-black?

3) The computer and internet

information is great. (knowledge = power!)

4) Books!

i love books. what would i do without a good book in my bag throughout the day.

5) Music in general

instruments, recording stuff, and so on. i need a dose of Glee songs at least twice a day!

i know these were kinda vague-ish, but there is no way only a top 5 would be enough. and most inventions would be useless without another one, for example printing would be useless without the inventions of ink and paper. so there.

Don't Stop
-Glee

I want it all

Day Twenty-Five: Top Five Products You Most Desire


1) iPhone / iTouch / iPad

just gimme one! any one!

2) A new laptop

mine keeps shutting down for no darn reason and sigh it's just time for a new one. it's 3 years plus old already and has served me well :)

3) A Kindle

always wanted one since i heard about it. i mean, it'll be awesome for travelling (my last trip to Germany i brought 2 thick Jodi Picoult books, and man did it take up so much space i almost wanted to leave it in Germany. but i couldn't! it's Jodi Picoult!!) , you can download pretty much ANY book, and it even has a dictionary built in! awesomeness in a bundle.

i can't really think of any other specific product right now. given a choice, i would rather just have a lot of money. to buy clothes, tickets to wicked(!), to fund my university education, to be able to travel, and so on.

(so if any one is thinking of getting me a present, money is much appreciated - i need cash for my exchange to Germany next year! thanks.) (or the kindle would be awesome too)

I Want it All
-Highschool Musical

Take me or leave me

Day Twenty-Four: Top Five Things You Do During “Me-Time”

1) Watch TV shows online

I don't think i have run out of shows to watch yet. Even when my favourites ones are on a hiatus, i take the opportunity to discover new shows, or check out shows people seem to really like but i don't watch yet, and start watching those from season 1 till i have caught up. maybe i should work in this industry since i love it so much.

2) Read

I can just sit somewhere (preferably a comfy couch) and read a good book for hours.

3) Watch a movie

Online of course. Even though i realise i don't mind watching a movie in theatres alone, i've done it once and it was okay, except that i had to pay for it of course hahaha.

4) Just use the internet for whatever.

it is amazing how much time i can spend on the computer. no, actually it is ridiculous.

5) Go out and window shop

and of course, i usually end up buying something.

______________________________________

changed the layout of my blog! updated to the new interface, like finally! didn't want to cause i didn't want to lose my old template or try to redo the html or what so fine i just went with whatever they provided. It's okay, no?  

and i realise they never were comment sections on the old template, i don't know why hahaha. so instead of a tag box thingy at the side, you guys can comment on the specific post now!

Take me or leave me - Glee

Rumor has it / Someone like you

Day 23: Top 5 worst teachers you've ever had

Sigh another mean one hahaha. not gonna do it. my teachers have more or less been pretty good.

__________________________________

the last episode of GLEE was AWESOME! woah.

anyway, will continue with the days i've missed soon after my exams. this one was easy since i've got nothing to list hahaha.

Rumor has it / Someone like you

-Glee (mashup)

Animal

Day 22: Top 5 sexiest people ever (Dead or Alive) Top 5 Cutest/Hottest Guys


decided to change it, okay lets go.

1) Cory Monteith

2) Zac Efron

3) Liam Hemsworth

4) Adam Levine

5) Matthew Morrison

Animal
-Glee

Loser

Day 21: Top 5 movies you quote constantly


honestly i do not even quote movies. so. end of post.

Loser-
-glee

starstruck

Day 20: Top 5 most annoying celebrities


1) Lady GaGa

it's probably just me, but i cannot stand her over-the-topness with everything! her songs are not too bad, but then you bring in the music videos, and her costumes and outfits, and calling her fans monsters. okaayyyy. i loved the first song from her i heard- which was Just Dance - which was good! then came the rest, which were catchy and good music, but her lyrics, not too nice in my opinion. especially Judas. like really, that was daring of her to do that song. Born this way was good, till the video came out- it like totally gave a different meaning to the song.


and 20 minutes later, i can't think of other people. i googled, and apparently kim kardashian, paris hilton, and so on came op as top annoying celebrities, but i don't even follow their news, or am interested in what they do so i can't say i'm annoyed at them. hahaha. maybe i'll update this when i remember someone else i'm annoyed at.

then again, life's short, who bother yourself with people you are annoyed with? just don't keep up with their news, and you can't get annoyed at them anymore. yay.


Starstruck
-Sterling Knight

Hero

Day 19: Top 5 favourite sandwiches

1) Cold cut trio (from subway)

with all the veggies except jalapenos, ranch sauce and yellow mustard. awesum.

i've recently been ordering this in a wrap, instead of my usual honey oats bread, it's nice, and way neater too haha.

2) Butter with honey / fruit jam. plain and simple but good.

3) peanut butter and banana and cinnamon. haven't had this in a long time, it's really good.

4) Tuna sandwich - with mayo. already comes mixed in a can, so yay.

5) i guess any sandwich with cold cuts and cheese = i'm good to go.

sandwiches like this were practically everywhere in Germany, just grab one and go, at the train stations, bakeries- which they probably have one or more per street of shops! oh in fact, my host family had bread and a spread of cold cuts, cheese (they even had garlic cheese, which was pretty good!) and butter and different spreads (like vegetable, cream cheese) for dinner almost every night. lunch is their typical heavy meal, not like us Asians, where dinner is the heavy meal.

Hero
-Sterling Knight

(hero like the brand of jam- geddit? hahaha)

Jump

Day 18: Top 5 favourite sporting events

1) Gymnastics

i LOVE watching gymnastics. the women artistic gymnasts more than the rest though. favourite gymnast: Shawn Johnson from Team USA! she is brilliant! whole lot of power in that small body. currently she is a non-travelling alternate for the 2011 USA women's team, hopefully she makes the 2012 olympic team for USA!

2) Ice Skating

another beautiful sport! i think pair skating is the nicest to watch!  :)

3) Track and Field

track and field is always so interesting, with so many events, and it's fun to just sit in front of the tv and watch them do all the different events. and i volunteered for the youth olympic games held in Singapore last year and was at bishan stadium where the rack and field competition took place! exciting stuff.

4) Swimming / Diving / synchronized swimming

another sport with so many events- i'll say diving is the most interesting to watch, but swimming is more exciting.

5) winter sports like curling, luge, speed skating, skiing

these sports we don't have or see in Singapore since it doesn't snow, so it is always interesting to watch them! at least i can cheer on team Switzerland! 

Jump
-Glee

Bein' green

Day 17: Top 5 favourite things to do where you live

1) Going to the library and borrow books

2) Take a walk in Botanic Gardens or Hort park or the many park connectors we have now

3) Shopping!! (even window shopping is fun here:) )

4) Eating and discovering good food. the amount and variety of food we have in Singapore is amazing. reasonably cheap, especially when compared to Europe.

5) Movies i guess?

_________________________________

ah finally german is over this semester after today's semester test. i can't believe how much german i know! yays. we probably are only at the primary level or something, but compared to last year, woah. yay german 4 next semester! german is seriously my favourite class every semester. fun people, fun teachers, fun subject.

and had the final practical exam for experimental microbiology, oh gosh, not too good, couldn't finish the paper! knew how to do it, but no time to write it all out. le sigh.

cell biology test tomorrow! with negative marking. mug mug mug.

Bein' green

-Glee

Uptown girl

Day 16: Top 5 things in life you'd like an explanation for

1) What is my purpose in life?

2) How the computer actually works. like it is amazing.

3) How our voices work. (and how come some people have good voices and some don't?)

4) How languages came about. like who said a book was a book and so on.

5) How our emotions work.

Uptown girl

-Glee

Falling

Day 15: Top 5 favourite beverages

1) WATER!

I love drinking water. i need a bottle of water with me at all times. a friend told me he doesn't like water cause it is tasteless, and i had never thought about it that way before, but even though it really is tasteless, it is refreshing and i just like it. haha. but i don't like those distilled ones, they have a funny taste.

2) Green tea

Yay i pretty much drink this if not water. Jasmine green tea, particularly the Heaven and Earth brand, i used to like Pokka, but i find H and E better now. their passionfruit tea is pretty good too.

3) Apple juice

I love apple juice, but i rarely drink it, usually on planes or when i was in Europe! but not like the fresh ones with pulp, the processed ones. hahaha.

4) Pearl milk tea

Favourite bubble tea drink order.

that's about it at the top of my head. beverages i hate: any gassy, fizzy, sparkling drinks. no soft drinks, not even sparkling apple juice or sparkling water! i cannot stand them, which was a terrible thing in Europe where water automatically means sparkling water, and they love their gas in their drinks. hahaha

Falling

-Emmy Rossum

Magic

Day 14: Top 5 things you'll do if you had magical abilities

1) Get straight As without trying

2) Be able to apparate

i shouldn't be late anymore then!

3) Be invisible when i want to

4) Think up whatever i what and it'll appear

5) Read people's minds (when i want to, not all the time, it'll probably get irritating hahaha)

Magic

-B.o.b ft Rivers Coumo

The show goes on

Day 13: Top 5 Dream jobs

ooohhh, the answers to this question might have no end. i literally have wanted to be loads and loads and loads, but i'll stop at 5.

1) Doctor

I think i first really wanted to be a doctor when i was watching greys anatomy. it sounds silly, but i guess i never realised the impact of the doctors in the world. how much of a difference they make to everyone, from birth to death. one day, wait for it.

2) Writer

I love reading, and so naturally i guess i have always wanted to write a book of my own. i constantly am thinking of plot ideas, but i don't know how they manage to develop and stretch their ideas so it becomes a novel, maybe i should start with a short story. haha.

3) Teacher

looking back i really realise the impact of our teachers. kids are the future and impacting and guiding them right is so important. but i do wonder if i'll be strict enough hahaha.

4) Scientist

I always thought it so cool that scientists get to find out and discover so many interesting things about our bodies, the world around us and invent stuff that is unbelievably incredible. Hopefully i get to discover or invent something that contributes in someway to the world.

5) Performer (dancer, musician)

When i was learning ballet, i wanted to dance on stage, when i was in the band in school, i wanted to be playing professionally in an orchestra or for musicals. performing is so exciting, i really enjoyed performing on stage.

The show goes on

-Lupe Fiasco

Fine by me

Day 12: Top 5 trends/styles you abhor

lets change it to Day 12: Top 5 trends/styles you adore

1) Bohemian

braids, flowy tops, embroidery, sandals yay!

2) Military

i love the colours- olive green!!!, browns, navy. i wish i had a military style blazer!

3) Girly

floral prints, knitwear, dresses and skirts, flats, heels. ah.

4) Causal

JEANS! and cool graphic t shirts, and comfy hoodie jackets, converse shoes- well i pretty much dress up like this, so i had to have in in the list hahaha.

thats about it. no number 5. haha.

I really cannot wait until i get a steady job and can spend all i want on clothes and shoes and bags and what not.

Fine by me

-Andy Grammer

Speak now

Day 11: Top 5 languages you wish you were fluent in

1) GERMAN!

I'm learning it now, but it is pretty difficult to just speak fluently, especially if the dialogue is not one we have practiced before in class or with sentence structure we have not learned before. It is so limiting, and i have to always break down what i want to say into simpler sentences and not make things so complicated hahaha.

2) Spanish

Spanish just sounds so sexy. I first really wanted to learn Spanish after watching Zorro, the conversation between Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta Jones, oh my goodness, hot.

3) Hebrew

Hebrew is so interesting. Hopefully i'll get to learn it one day.

4) French

Ah French just sounds so lovely.

5) Chinese

Even though i can speak Chinese and have been studied the language for like 13 years or so, i am not as fluent as i should be. I need to like learn more vocabulary and at least converse more often. My writing and reading is horrible since i didn't have to learn it in school anymore. I need to practice. haha.

____________________________

and an interesting, read-worthy quote taken of a friend's blog:

"The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other”-Osho, Being In Love

Speak now

-Taylor Swift

Jesus be the center

Day 10: Top 5 reasons you feel the way you do right now

how do i feel / what am i thinking about right now- shit the world, why am i so stupid, why do i suck academically in comparison to my peers, why can't i do better, crap there are 3 exams next week, shit is my cap score going to drop below 3.0 so i won't be qualified for SEP, i feel like bursting into tears. i feel like going to sleep and not ever going to school again.

1) Just found out my scores for CA1 for LSM2103- and i got a 56.9 for the test, not that i was expecting to do very well, but i thought i could at least hit a 65.

2) Then i saw the graph of results of the students taking this module- WHAT on earth, the median is (71-80) marks, and there are only 22 people (out of 261 students) below my grade range of (51-60). holy shitsu.

3) I just watched a documentary this morning called ExamiNation (which is really good by the way) about the korean college entrance exam, and thinking i will not let myself come to this, that i value my self more than my results and what my examination results prove to the world about my academic ability, and yet once i saw my results, i couldn't of anything else but how they defined me. which was crap.

4) Then i look back at all my results, and realised that since i started uni, sit my results suck. the only A i have gotten is for general biology, and it was an A-. and to think i wanted to do medicine, or even the thought of applying for graduate medicine, yeah right YOU AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH. what am i going to do if i can't even do AVERAGE for uni.

5) and i realise too that i don't really have anything else to show for my past 20 years of existence. in whatever else i have pursued, i am only mediocre at best, i have accomplished NOTHING, nothing that i can be proud of. what is my worth to society, what can i contribute that no one else can already do better?!

i don't know what to do.

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Help me God to trust in You and Your plan for my life, for me to keep the faith and remember to rely on You and Your strength, especially for my upcoming exams and finals, help me to accept and not question, for i know Your ways are greater than mine. Give me the wisdom to understand what i am studying, wisdom to know when to get off the computer to study, help me be focused.

1 John 5:4 "for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith."

Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

1 Corinthians 1:30 "It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God- that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption."

Psalm 27:1 "The LORD is my light and salvation- whom shall i fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall i be afraid?"

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Jesus be the center

- Israel Houghton

What i know

and Day 9: Top 5 people you'd like to kill

that's just mean hahahaha. not gonna do it.

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have i mentioned on here that i have a new favourite band?!?!?

PARACHUTE is AWESOME!!!

i love all their songs as of now (:

yay is it silly that i am so excited about this? hahaha.

What i know

-Parachute

She is Love

Day 8: Top 5 biggest fictional crushes

1) Finn Hudson (Glee)

Ah. Finn Hudson (Cory Monteith) freaking cute. His smile, heck even his half smile when she looks at Rachel sometimes, aaaahhhhhh. He can sing, plays drums, super cute, what more can i ask for?

2) Charlie St. Cloud (Charlie St. Cloud)

Charlie St. Cloud (Zac Efron). He was chosen mainly cause of the fact he was played by Zac Efron hahaha. Gorgeous blue eyes! Charlie can sail, is darn good looking, and has that connection with his dead younger brother which i find is so sweet.

3) Four (Divergent)

Ah this guy! No photo cause he is a fictional character from a book i recently read, but they are making it into a movie! YAY! Great book honestly. Divergent by Veronica Roth.

and Four (actually his real name is Tobias) is like such a sweet guy inside, with his tough guy demeanor, and his backstory is so sad, but he seems pretty awesome! whenever there was a part with Four and Tris (the main girl character), man i wished i were her! maybe i just had too good an imagination and thought up this awesome person through someone's writing hahaha.

darn this is getting embarrassing.

4) Ezra Fitz (Pretty little liars)

AH he is so cute! his smile is ahhhh melt worthy. Ezra Fitz (played by Ian Harding), is an english teacher on the show, how cool is that!? man if i had an english teacher so crush worthy, well if i had ANY teacher so crush worthy, sigh. his name is so nice too.

5) Michael (Nikita)

AH! Michael (Shane West) from Nikita. He is so bad boy looking, but when he smiles, oh my goodness. Michael is a spy, super fighting skills, his voice (speaking that is) smooooooth.

and who else remembers Shane West from the movie "A walk to remember"?! Super cute last time too. sigh.

She is Love

-Parachute